ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
