i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
