This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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