You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
