Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
