At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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