ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
