I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
