I feel like abortions should bother me more
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
