Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
