i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I got her a Nickelback box set.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She bit a glass in half.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
