You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
A+ Viking dick
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