people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
