dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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