mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
