What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
