batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
