I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
