My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
