Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
