Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
