I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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