I'm jealous of your bromance
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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