you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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