So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
