Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
