Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
