i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Sext me about skeletons
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
