Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
