i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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