Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
