Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Randomize
