he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
