Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
