uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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