yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
