His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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