summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
