There is no way he is gay with that hair.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
