I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
