He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
