My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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