i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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