Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
