"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
