I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
