Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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