these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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