I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
