i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
my poor anus
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
